Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
