His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize