wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
