I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
