Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
FUCK WHALES
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
