Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
handjob tips. give me some.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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