he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
