the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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