i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
