WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
