i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
