During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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