We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
