Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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