john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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