At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
be right there i have to get my cape
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
