he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
