I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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