I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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