so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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