at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
