My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i was born a porn star she said
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
