i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
