Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
