frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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