The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
