So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
what day is it and did you see me today?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
