At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
