Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
