when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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