Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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