Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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