the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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