i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
