I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
