Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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