I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
