He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
