and next time when you feel me up, do it right
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
