i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
