hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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