Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
