As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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