maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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