new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
