i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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