Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
