idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize