what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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