FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
