I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
