so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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