ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
