He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
