You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
