i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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