This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Randomize
