I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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