Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
