don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
