$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
bring money and cleavage
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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