no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
