if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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