left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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