It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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