why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
that is very illegal...i love you.
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