i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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