dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
