Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The power of my boobs compel you
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize