happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
