dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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