my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
