He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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