I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
